I have started this blog in one form or another several times and stopped. Great lessons are hard won, and hard to talk about. I hope you find this useful. Here goes…
Great lessons, Hard won
The most significant event in shaping my approach to life, let alone leadership, was the death of my father when I was ten years old. He had a massive heart attack on Wednesday, and by Friday afternoon, he was gone.
It’s hard to overstate how profound an effect something like this happening to a ten-year-old is. I know there is no ideal age to lose a parent, but I have always thought this was a particularly bad one. Old enough to see them as a separate personality, young enough to have no idea who they really are.
There have been countless decisions I have made since then that I look back on and think how strange they were. Almost like they were made by a different person from the one I was supposed to grow up to be. Now that I have my own kids, I am happy to say that I have found a more even stride, as my great friend Terry Brissenden assured me I would.
Like any cloud, as the saying goes, it is possible to find silver linings, the lessons that this event taught me that shape the person I am every day. Before I share exactly how this experience shaped my outlook, let me tell you a bit about the man I hardly knew.
My Dad: the BBC's Last Warrior Statesman
My dad spent most of his life working for the BBC (or Beeb). My earliest memories include him being driven off to breakfast meetings, evening engagements, or flights around the world. He had an incredible career, from being in Saigon during the Tet Offensive in 1968 to securing the rights from ABC to broadcast the moon landings globally. If you or someone you know watched the moon landing live outside the US in 1969, it was thanks to him.`
He later became Controller in Northern Ireland, facing threats from both republicans, who saw the BBC as a British mouthpiece, and unionists, who viewed it as overly impartial.
"The widow of Portsmouth is the same as the widow of Buenos Aires"
As Head of News & Current Affairs during the Falklands War, he famously stated (correctly) that "the widow of Portsmouth is the same as the widow of Buenos Aires." This stance put him at odds with Margaret Thatcher’s wartime government, prompting him to fiercely defend the BBC’s independence, asserting it needed "no lessons in patriotism" from politicians.
Although he never achieved his dream of becoming Director General, he went on to lead the British Council – an equally embattled driver of the UK’s remarkable soft power around the world. There, he visited 170+ countries in four years, promoting cultural projects from Addis Ababa to Zurich until his death in 1992. He was knighted for his services to the arts, becoming Sir Richard Francis.
He worked for the Beeb in its heyday, but so much of what he focused on – due impartiality, the uniqueness of the Beeb, and justifying the licence fee - is still relevant today. In many ways, I've grown up in his shadow: a remarkable man I barely knew.
The way you do anything is the way you do everything
Everything he did, he did 100%. He was decent, kind, loyal, (extremely) hardworking, technocratic, and serious. He had unbreakable faith in the people around him - an asset that helped them to accomplish feats they thought impossible. He once went for a (brief) sleep while the two of us were sailing across the English Channel at night, leaving me to helm. I was eight years old.
People often ask me how I ended up following a similar path (I also briefly worked at BBC News). Perhaps our shared interests and abilities naturally led us down similar roads.
So what did this teach me?
If you’re interested in the BBC, the battles of the 1980s, and its fight to remain relevant in the modern world, I highly recommend my brother Steve’s book – The BBC’s Last Warrior Statesman - has just been published, and is an excellent read: https://www.amazon.co.uk/BBCs-Last-Warrior-Statesman-Corporation-Thatcher/
Momento Mori
If there is one lesson I learned from losing my father, it’s about the fleeting nature of life. In a few short years, every one of us, including all those we love, admire, envy, or argue with, will be dead. In a couple of centuries – a blink of an eye – the lives of almost every single human living today will be completely forgotten. This realisation, while sobering, is incredibly liberating.
Be Kind
Understanding this puts everything into perspective. Prioritize relationships, seek empathy, and be generous in spirit. Give people the benefit of the doubt, because, in the end, kindness is one of the few things that genuinely matters.
Make a Dent in the World
You only get one chance at life, so seize it. Do something remarkable - not necessarily by society's standards, but by yours. Find what brings you true joy and meaning, and share that passion with those around you. When things go your way, that’s great. When they don’t, it’s OK. Neither of those outcomes defines who you truly are.
Above all, don’t take yourself too seriously.
In a nutshell:
Life is transient - use your time wisely.
Be kind - prioritize empathy and understanding.
Leave your mark - seek joy and impact that is meaningful to you.
Don’t take yourself too seriously – don't lose perspective.
What has been the most significant learning experience in your life?
Life is good.
Have a great week.
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